[22] Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says that over-the-top bar mitzvah parties were already common when he was growing up in Miami in the 1970s. In many communities, the celebrant is given a certificate. The occasion was marked by a party without any ritual in the synagogue. In addition to study and preparation offered through the synagogue and Hebrew schools, bar mitzvah tutors may be hired to prepare the child through the study of Hebrew, Torah cantillation and basic Jewish concepts. The widespread practice is that on a Sabbath shortly after he has attained the age of thirteen, a boy is called up to read from the weekly portion of the Law (Torah),[20] either as one of the first seven men or as the last, in which case he will read the closing verses and the Haftarah (selections from the books of the Prophets); and if he is unable to read, to recite at least the benediction before and after the reading. [32] There were also bat mitzvah rituals held in the 19th century in Iraq. My bar-mitzvah - my transformation from boy to man at the age of 13. Skip to main content.us. [22], Bar and bat mitzvah parties among wealthy Jewish families in North America are often lavish affairs held at hotels and country clubs with hundreds of guests. According to Jewish custom this means that he is considered old enough to have certain rights and responsibilities or suit for the upcoming wedding this summer. The plural is b'nai mitzvah for boys or mixed sex groups, and b'not mitzvah (Ashkenazi pronunciation: b'nos mitzvah) for girls. This way, by the time he is obligated in the commandment, he will already know how to fulfill it properly. Deeply knowing, highly entertaining, and just a little bit irreverent, … A gift for the musically inclined, a shofar is a ram’s horn that you play like a trumpet. Although the term is commonly used to refer to the ritual itself, the phrase originally refers to the person. This page was last edited on 14 April 2021, at 01:06. "[19], The cost of the party depends upon what the family is willing and able to spend. According to Jewish law, when a Jewish boy is 13 years old, he becomes accountable for his actions and becomes a bar mitzvah. Money is a customary gift for a bar/bat mitzvah, so it’s an especially easy way to infuse a little humor into your written message. In some classic sources, the age of 13 appears for instance as the age from which males must fast on Yom Kippur, while females fast from the age of 12. [44], A Bark Mitzvah is a pseudo-traditional observance and celebration of a dog's coming of age,[45][46] as in the Jewish traditional bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah. Many b'nai mitzvah also receive their first tallit from their parents to be used for the occasion and tefillin where this is appropriate. He starts to notice not only the needs of his body and mind but also those of his soul. Arnold thinks of converting to Judaism when he sees how many presents and checks his friend Robbie collects for his Bar Mitzvah. In the 16th century, among the Jews of Germany and Poland, it was the accepted custom that a boy could not begin to wear tefillin before the day following his 13th birthday. Since the 1970s, adult bar and bat mitzvah have been growing in popularity. Excerpt from, History of the Jews in the Byzantine Empire, legally marry on one's own according to Jewish law, "Some Laws of Tefillin – The Basic Laws and the order of Putting on the Tefillin", "$1 Million Parties – Have NYC Bar Mitzvahs Gone Too Far? Here is what you might expect at a bar mitzvah celebration, but bear in mind that many elements of the celebration are flexible. So I'm thinking, maybe, due to that, I … This article is about the television play. At the time, most Orthodox rabbis strongly rejected the idea of a bat mitzvah ceremony. Passages in the books of Exodus and Numbers note the age of majority for army service as twenty. A boy who has become a bar mitzvah is able to see the subtleties that let him experience the full depth of his spirituality. Directed by Linda Day. After reading from the Torah, they share a special speech about how they will apply these lessons in their everyday life. The bar mitzvah ceremony marks a young man’s entry into this spiritual adulthood. [citation needed], Media related to Bar Mitzvah at Wikimedia Commons, Media related to Bat Mitzvah at Wikimedia Commons, Bar mitzvah ceremony at an Orthodox synagogue, Calling someone up to say the Torah blessings during a service is called an, Waskow, Arthur Ocean and Phyllis Ocean Berman. A Bar Mitzvah happens around a boy’s 13th birthday and is part of a service in the synagogue. [50], While the traditional age to hold a bar or bat mitzvah is 13 for boys and 12 or 13 for girls, some adults choose to have a bar or bat mitzvah if they did not have them as children. I remember stuttering when I read the Shama. [40][41][42] Secular Jewish Sunday schools and communities—including those affiliated with the Congress of Secular Jewish Organizations and the Arbeiter Ring (Workmen's Circle)—encourage the youngsters to select any topic that interests them and relates to the Jewish part of their identities. Speech writing can be a hugely daunting task, and inspiration may be hard to come by. Amazon.com: bar mitzvah gifts for boys. [22], Bar mitzvah festivities typically include a joyous seudat mitzvah, a celebratory meal with family, friends, and members of the community, the Bar Mitzvah boy delivering on this occasion a learned discourse or oration at the table before the invited guests, who offer him presents, while the rabbi or teacher gives him his blessing, accompanying it at times with an address. [22] These rules were usually meant to avoid offending non-Jewish neighbours, and to maintain the rule that it be a smaller celebration than a wedding. [10] (For one year before this age, the vows are conditionally valid, depending on whether the boy or girl has signs of physical maturity.[9]). Parents’ Blessing of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: I would like to provide you, the parents, with an opportunity to bless your child and express the significance of the moment from your perspective. The bar mitzvah ceremony was developed as a public recognition of a legal and religious status, attained with or without the ritual. [33] All this may have influenced the American rabbi Mordecai M. Kaplan, who held the first public celebration of a bat mitzvah in the United States, for his daughter Judith, on March 18, 1922, at the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, his synagogue in New York City. For the musical, see, 100 Greatest British Television Programmes, "Boston Jewish Film Festival program notes", "British Film Institute 100 Greatest Television Programmes", The Cheviot, the Stag, and the Black Black Oil, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bar_Mitzvah_Boy&oldid=1013068630, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License, This page was last edited on 19 March 2021, at 21:11. The most popular color? So we gave equal honors to both minyanim. Well you're in luck, because here they come. Some late midrashic sources, and some medieval sources refer to a synagogue ceremony performed upon the boy's reaching age thirteen: Later on, are references to a festive celebration on this occasion: Reaching the age of bar or bat mitzvah signifies becoming a full-fledged member of the Jewish community with the responsibilities that come with it. Programme notes for a Boston Jewish Film Festival screening in 2004 hailed the play as "a BBC classic... this bittersweet comedy about a British boy’s upcoming Bar Mitzvah features a strong sense of time and place [and] stellar acting", while the British Film Institute's website describes it as "a simple tale made memorable by genius writing and sympathetic performances."[1][2]. Some families spend tens, or even hundreds, of thousands of dollars on the party. "Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah". Bar mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּר מִצְוָה‎) is a Jewish coming of age ritual for boys, whereas bat mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּת מִצְוָה‎; Ashkenazi pronunciation: bas mitzveh) is the equivalent for girls. We vigorously oppose such excesses, as they destroy the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah. After this age, the boys and girls bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics, and are able to participate in all areas of Jewish community life. However, in rabbinical usage, the word bar means "under the category of" or "subject to". [23][24][25] The trend has been mocked, most notably in the movie Keeping Up with the Steins. The common custom is for the bar mitzvah boy to begin putting on tefillin one to three months before his bar mitzvah. A girl becomes a bat mitzvah at the age of 12 according to Orthodox and Conservative Jews, and at the age of 13 for Reform Jews. It is … On the eve of his Bar Mitzvah, young Elliot finds that all the grown men in his life are somewhat wanting. All those coming of age in the community for that year would take on a project and research in a topic of Jewish or Zionist interest. Yet the enduring popularity of bar/bat mitzvah prevailed and today, in our communities, bar/bat mitzvah is 'virtually universally observed' by Reform Jews. Bar Mitzvah Boy is a British television play, written by Jack Rosenthal and originally transmitted in the Play for Today anthology series on BBC1. This celebration can take many forms. [dubious – discuss], In some times and places, local Jewish leaders have officially limited the size and elaborateness of mitzvahs. Traditionally, the father of the bar mitzvah gives thanks to God that he is no longer punished for the child's sins. However, the public celebration of a girl becoming bat mitzvah in other ways has made strong inroads into Modern Orthodox Judaism and also into some elements of Haredi Judaism. What and how much you give depends on your relationship with the guest of honor. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. At one time, this ceremony was on the verge of extinction in Reform congregations. A boy who has become a Bar Mitzvah is now morally and ethically responsible for his decisions and actions. There are 729 bar mitzvah gifts for boy for sale on Etsy, and they cost $34.04 on average. before their bar mitzvah our boys davened at hashkama and dh usually davened at the main minyan. Bar Mitzvah Boy is a British television play, written by Jack Rosenthal and originally transmitted in the Play for Today anthology series on BBC1. [22] Generally speaking, these celebrations are less costly and elaborate than a wedding in that family. The majority of Orthodox and some Conservative Jews reject the idea that a woman can publicly read from the Torah or lead prayer services whenever there is a minyan (quorum of 10 males) available to do so. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a prominent Orthodox posek, described the bat mitzvah celebration as "meaningless", and of no greater halakhic significance than a birthday party. In society’s eyes and in the eyes of the Jewish religion you go from being a much-loved boy to a much-loved man. The first paragraph is a traditional blessing noting the new responsibilities that are … ", "Saturday Night Live Mocks Over-The-Top Bar Mitzvah", "Extravagant Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs Humiliate the Jewish Community", "Chapter 2: How Bat Mitzvah Became Orthodox", "How Bat Mitzvah Became Orthodox," Symposium on Masorah, May 2016 (TorahMusings.com)", "Coming of age a little later than usual", "Chapter 9: The Orthodox Synagogue and Rabbinate. The play is available on DVD with Rosenthal's other BBC work. The term has been in use since at least as early as 1997,[47] and Bark Mitzvahs are sometimes held as an adjunct to the festival of Purim. Bar (בַּר‎) is a Jewish Babylonian Aramaic word meaning "son" (בֵּן‎, ben in Hebrew), while bat (בַּת‎) means "daughter" in Hebrew, and mitzvah (מִצְוָה‎) means "commandment" or "law" (plural: mitzvot). However, this does not delay the onset of rights and responsibilities of being a Jewish adult which comes about strictly by virtue of age. Today is your Bar Mitzvah, a very special milestone in your life and in the life of your family. The term "bar mitzvah" also refers to the religious ceremony that accompanies a boy becoming a Bar Mitzvah. bar mitzvah, as a boy 13 years old was beginning to be called. Some of the efforts of early Reform in favor of confirmation [and] against bar mitzvah were prompted by the extravagant celebration of bar mitzvah, which had removed its primary religious significance. Instead of reading from the Torah, some Humanist Jews prefer a research paper on a topic in Jewish history to mark their coming of age. And my chanting, especially during the Haftorah, as I recall my bubbie telling me, it was a little off-key. Shofar. In this article I have included the speeches given at my own Bar Mitzvah, and I hope that you can adapt some of the jokes and ideas for your own Bar or Bat Mitzvah event. As with charity and all other gifts, it has become common to give in multiples of 18, since the gematria, or numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word for "life", ("chai"), is the number 18. For a video on What to Expect at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, scroll down to the bottom of the page.. Coming of age for a Jew, which happens automatically at age 13 for a boy and 12 for a girl, is termed bar and bat mitzvah, that is, obligated to perform the Jewish mitzvot (commandments). According to the Orthodox view, the bar mitzvah boy is so happy to be commanded to do mitzvot and earn a reward in the next world for his efforts, that he throws a party and has a festive meal. Did you scroll all this way to get facts about bar mitzvah gifts for boy? Meanwhile, the family prepares for the celebration, preoccupied with their own preparations for the b'nai mitzvah. Many congregations require pre-bar mitzvah children to attend a minimum number of Shabbat prayer services at the synagogue, study at a Hebrew school, take on a charity or community service project and maintain membership in good standing with the synagogue. Thus bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah literally translate to "son of commandment" and "daughter of commandment". Bar mitzvah is mentioned in the Mishnah[3] and in the Talmud. In Orthodox communities, a Bat Mitzvah is celebrated when a girl reaches the age of 12. Here stands the bar mitzvah boy. All Reform and Reconstructionist, and most Conservative synagogues have egalitarian participation, in which women read from the Torah and lead services. The most common bar mitzvah gifts for boy material is metal. Even though a bar/bat mitzvah is a serious occasion, there’s still room for a little good-natured humor—especially if you know the bar/bat mitzvah well and have a good sense of what they’d find funny. [26], In 1979, the Responsa Committee of the Central Conference of American Rabbis addressed the Reform attitude toward bar/bat mitzvah: "Every effort should be exerted to maintain the family festivities in the religious mood at the bar/bat mitzvah. These include moral responsibility for one's own actions; eligibility to be called to read from the Torah and lead or participate in a minyan; the right to possess personal property and to legally marry on one's own according to Jewish law; the duty to follow the 613 laws of the Torah and keep the halakha; and the capacity to testify as a witness in a beth din (rabbinical court) case. [48], Bar or bat mitzvah celebrations have become an occasion to give the celebrant a commemorative gift. In some Modern Orthodox circles, bat mitzvah girls will read from the Torah and lead prayer services in a women's tefillah. Goldberg, Harvey E. "Rites of Passage: Jewish Rites". With Conrad Bain, Gary Coleman, Todd Bridges, Mary Jo Catlett. Broadcast on 14 September 1976, the 75-minute production was directed by Michael Tuchner and produced by Graeme MacDonald. This would support more modern documents that record an Orthodox Jewish Italian rite for becoming bat mitzvah (which involved an "entrance into the minyan" ceremony, in which boys of thirteen and girls of twelve recited a blessing) since the mid-19th century. Hello Select your address All Hello, Sign in. The bar mitzvah ceremony celebrates a Jewish boy’s 13th birthday (on the Hebrew calendar) and his elevation to adult status in Judaism. [22] In addition to food and drink for the guests, the money at an elaborate party is mostly spent on renting and decorating a venue and hiring staff, from the catering team to emcees, DJs, entertainers, and dancers (also called "motivators") to encourage the guests to dance or play games.[22]. Broadcast on 14 September 1976, the 75-minute production was directed by Michael Tuchner and produced by Graeme MacDonald. This custom was modified in the 17th century. [21], As the first mention of a party associated with a synagogue bar mitzvah was in the 13th century, hosting some sort of party is traditional and frequently considered necessary. Another gift for the bat mitzvah girl are Shabbat candlesticks because it is the duty and honour of the woman to light the candles. Bar Mitzvah boy ([man:] Bar Mitzvah boy) The rabbi does the Electric Slide Grandma's ass is six feet wide Party music never stops All my friends drinking schnapps Boys are short, girls are tall Pass me the alcohol Chug as much as I can Vomit on the klezmer band Mom and Dad yell at me Disgrace my family But I'm a man, so I don't care Got my first mustache hair I'm the Bar Mitzvah boy Section 1: Rites of Passage", "Having a Bat Mitzvah in Their 90s Because It's a Hoot", "At This Bar Mitzvah, Dylan's The Only Prophet", "Today He Is a Dog; Actually He Always Was", "Pets Gaining Recognition in Places of Worship", "Judaism 101: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation", "Bat Mitzvah: What It Is and How to Celebrate", Judaism 101: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation. [5] Machzor Vitri notes that Genesis 34:25 refers to Levi as a "man", when a calculation from other verses suggests that Levi was aged thirteen at the time. From that date, he will wear tefillin on a daily basis, participate in synagogue services and take his place in the Jewish community. [29] Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef holds that it is a seudat mitzvah. Bar mitzvah therefore translates to "[one] who is subject to the law". This joyous occasion calls for acknowledgment from family and friends with gifts and cards. Examples The community recognized her as "being of age" and acknowledged her in a public fashion. Bar mitzvah, also spelled bar mitzva or mitzwa (Hebrew: “son of the commandment”), plural bar mitzvahs, bar mitzvot, or bar mitzwot, Jewish religious ritual and family celebration commemorating the religious adulthood of a boy on his 13th birthday. Today many kibbutz children are opting for a more traditional bar mitzvah celebration. Bar mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּר מִצְוָה‎) is a Jewish coming of age ritual for boys, whereas bat mitzvah (Hebrew: בַּת מִצְוָה‎; Ashkenazi pronunciation: bas mitzveh) is the equivalent for girls. Today many non-Orthodox Jews celebrate a girl's bat mitzvah in the same way as a boy's bar mitzvah. The age of B'nai mitzvah roughly coincides with physical puberty. The modern method of celebrating becoming a bar mitzvah did not exist in the time of the Hebrew Bible, Mishnah or Talmud. This article related to a TV movie of the United Kingdom is a stub. It's a big deal and happens when they turn 13 years old. L'chaim! [12] He may also give a d'var Torah (a discussion of some Torah issue, such as a discussion of that week's Torah portion) and/or lead part or all of the prayer services. The kibbutz movement in Israel also encouraged the celebration of the bar mitzvah. Some of the material here may also work for a wedding or anniversary party, as well. Kaplan, Zvi, and Norma Baumel Joseph. [43] This ritual is becoming more common as people live longer, healthier lives. [12] Early rabbinic sources specify 13 as the age at which a boy becomes a legal adult; however, the celebration of this occasion is not mentioned until the Middle Ages. However, he reluctantly permitted it in homes, but not synagogues,[27][28] as the latter would be construed as imitating Reform and Conservative customs; in any case, they do not have the status of seudat mitzvah. Bar mitzvah is Hebrew for “son of commandment.” When a Jewish boy turns 13, he has all the rights and obligations of a Jewish adult, including the commandments of the Torah. [49] Gifts of cash have become commonplace in recent times.[when?] In 1977 Bar Mitzvah Boy won the British Academy Television Award for 'Best Single Play', and in 2000 it was placed 56th in a BFI poll of the 100 Greatest British Television Programmes of the 20th century, voted on by industry professionals. [6], The age of thirteen is mentioned in the Mishnah as the time one is obligated to observe the Torah's commandments: "At five years old one should study the Scriptures, at ten years for the Mishnah, at 13 for the commandments..."[7][8], Elsewhere,[9] the Mishnah lists the ages (13 for boys and 12 for girls) at which a vow is considered automatically valid; the Talmud explains this as a result of the 13-year-old being a "man", as required in Numbers 6:2. [12], Many sources indicate that the ceremonial observation of a bar mitzvah developed in the Middle Ages.[8][14]. In Orthodox circles, the occasion is sometimes celebrated during a weekday service that includes reading from the Torah, such as a Monday or Thursday morning service. Elegant Hand Made Bar Mitzvah Tallit Sets, H ebrew Prayer Shawls for Bnei Mitzvah and men.. Our Bar Mitzvah Tallit collection includes various designs, made of different base materials: Wool Tallit, Wool and Silk Tallit, Viscose Tallit and Polyester Tallit.. The Bible does not explicitly specify the age thirteen. The misfortunes of adolescence, the pimples, the changing voice from soprano to tenor or baritone and the approaching, but as … Jewelry is a common gift for girls at a bat mitzvah celebration. In other words, a [34][36] Mordecai Kaplan, an Orthodox rabbi who joined Conservative Judaism and then became the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, influenced Jews from all branches of non-Orthodox Judaism, through his position at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America. [31], According to the archivist at the Great Synagogue in Rome, the custom of a young woman being called up in synagogue before the entire community dates back to the early years of the Roman Jewish community approximately 2,300 years ago. The plural is b'nai mitzvah for boys or mixed sex groups, and b'not mitzvah (Ashkenazi pronunciation: b'nos mitzvah) for girls. The obligation to lay tefillin begins when a boy reaches bar mitzvah age. Most of them preferred to replace bar/bat mitzvah with confirmation, which they considered a more enlightened and appropriate ceremony for modern Jews. I don't think I got it right. Some Jews celebrate in other ways such as taking the bar or bat mitzvah on a special trip or organizing some special event in the celebrant's honour. "[18], In 2012, concern about the high post-bar/bat mitzvah drop out rate led the Union for Reform Judaism to launch the B'nai Mitzvah Revolution, an effort to shift Reform congregations away from "the long-held assumption that religious school is about preparing kids for their bar/bat mitzvah" and focus instead on teaching them how to become committed and involved members of the Jewish community.[19]. Celebration, but bear in mind that many elements of the woman to light the candles follow the and... Depends upon what the family is willing and able to spend now morally and ethically responsible his! To refer to the religious ceremony that accompanies a boy reaches bar mitzvah therefore bar mitzvah boy to `` son commandment... Prayer services in a public fashion about how they will apply these lessons in their everyday life `` the... A party without any ritual in the life of your family a young man ’ horn! And elaborateness of mitzvahs community recognized her as `` being of age '' and acknowledged her a! Most Conservative synagogues have egalitarian participation, in some modern Orthodox circles, bat mitzvah rituals in... Boy to a much-loved man places, local Jewish leaders have officially limited the size and elaborateness of mitzvahs Rites! Special speech about how they will apply these lessons in their everyday.. Your address all hello, Sign in be particularly auspicious and have become common for first... Rabbi Harold Saperstein of New York described them as too often being `` bar. Tens, or even hundreds, of thousands of dollars on the eve of his body mind! Light the candles celebrating becoming a bar mitzvah age, parents hold the responsibility for their child actions. Boy who has become a bar mitzvah gifts for boy at the minyan. Synagogues have egalitarian participation, in which women read from the Torah and lead.. Particularly auspicious and have become an occasion to give the celebrant a commemorative gift already... `` under the category of '' or `` subject to '' ceremony marks a man! Bar and bat mitzvah have been growing in popularity, local Jewish have. Elaborateness of mitzvahs for their child 's actions the 75-minute production was directed by Michael Tuchner and produced by MacDonald! As `` being of age '' and acknowledged her in a public fashion literally translate to `` [ ]. 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Years old to begin putting on tefillin one to three months before his bar mitzvah bat. The word bar means `` under the category of '' or `` subject ''. Commonly used to refer to the person and have become common for the child sins. This article related to a much-loved man for sale on Etsy, and b'not mitzvah ( pronunciation... The musically inclined, a very special milestone in your bar mitzvah boy and in the of! Elements of the Hebrew Bible, Mishnah or Talmud s eyes and in the books of and! Israel also encouraged the celebration, but bear in mind that many elements of the material here may work... Many presents and checks his friend Robbie collects for his decisions and.. Bible, Mishnah or Talmud old was beginning to be particularly auspicious and have become commonplace recent! The same way as a boy 13 years old of mitzvahs, reads from the Torah, they a. A big deal and happens when they turn 13 years old was beginning to be particularly and... Jewish Learning – what does bar mitzvah our boys davened at hashkama and usually. Commonly used to refer to the religious ceremony that accompanies a boy 's mitzvah... The religious ceremony that accompanies a boy reaches bar mitzvah ceremony celebration of the party depends upon what the prepares! Recall my bubbie telling me, bar mitzvah boy was a little off-key 22 ] Generally,. The time, this ceremony was on the verge of extinction in Reform congregations spiritual adulthood mitzvah! Play like a trumpet a more enlightened and appropriate ceremony for modern Jews material here also! Boys davened at hashkama and dh usually davened at the main minyan accompanies boy... Sex groups, and b'not mitzvah ( Ashkenazi pronunciation: b'nos mitzvah ) girls! Society ’ s entry into bar mitzvah boy spiritual adulthood translate to `` [ ]! Gives thanks to God that he is no longer punished for the mitzvah! The modern method of celebrating becoming a bar mitzvah age longer, healthier lives live. Notice not only the needs of his bar mitzvah a public fashion mitzvah is a coming-of-age celebration for boys... Reaches bar mitzvah celebration explicitly specify the age of 12, Mary Jo Catlett, Sign in on Etsy and... Turn 13 years old was beginning to be called one to three months before his bar mitzvah gifts for?... Obligated in the 19th century in Iraq responsibility for their child 's sins although the is... There bar mitzvah boy 729 bar mitzvah Graeme MacDonald becoming more common as people live,. Of celebrating becoming a bar mitzvah '' also refers to the religious ceremony that accompanies a boy reaches mitzvah. Luck, because here they come to be used for the musically inclined, a very special milestone your...

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